Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Three Cups of Tea

No, no, no. You were probably thinking I was going to drop some wisdom about Greg Mortenson's (allegedly) incredible and moving tale of service work in Afghanistan. It turns out three cups of tea is also the magic amount of pre-ride PG Tips that will cause me to stop and water the hedges every 40 minutes or so. That doesn't sound so bad, but on a 3.5 hr ride it can get pretty annoying. My problem might have something to do with the "cups" of tea that I'm having. Your typical English cup of tea might look like this:
But I've been pounding three of these bad boys before I ride:
Boom! UUUUUHHHmerica!

Stopping was only a real pain today because we finally got a taste of true English weather. 40 degrees and drizzling. Niiiiiice. Normally I'm enchanted by the scenes of rustic, country life, with sheep, cows and geese happily meandering through verdant fields bounded by stone walls. But when you see those furry buggers, and worse, smell them, then every bit of muddy road (read: all of it) becomes suspect, and you can almost feel yourself getting sick. Nothing like like the thought of sucking manure off the tops of your bottles or grinding goose grit in your teeth. Whatever. What doesn't kill you only makes you horribly, horrible ill... or something like that. I managed to slog through my whole workout depsite the weather and my taxed bladder, and I'm sure it will make me stronger in the end.

Jamie, on the other hand, chose to forgoe the manure luge today and put himself in timeout. I had to ask him if he'd done something wrong, because riding a trainer at night, alone, in a garage just staring at a brick wall sure seems like punishment to me.

I managed to snake a live feed of the NFC Championship game the other day and got to see Green Bay stick it to the backstabbing bears. Wilbur, this one's for you:
We had to get an internet feed through Sweden and during the commercial breaks where I'd normally be getting blasted by Bud ads I got to watch Ivan Drago's Swedish cousin discuss football with Colonel Dietrich. It turns out I speak quite a bit of Swedish! "Jaslovar nich de sharhur first down. Veeden ei Jay Cutler sink de verhun. Svis nu holding." I actually have video of that commentary, but I'll spare you. For now...

5 comments:

Peter said...

Instead of drinking tea, why don't you just do steroids like all the other cyclists out there?
- McConville

colbrio said...

Your blog kills me and look forward to reading your posts. Hope you and the MoonMan are having a good time across the pond. The Bay Area has been blessed with beautiful, sun shiny weather. Too bad work doesn't let us enjoy it to the fullest.

Best in your travels and keep the chips flying.

Ryan said...

Oh, Peter, steroids are so passé. They're for 1980's Eastern Bloc female power lifters. It's all about designer drugs these days. Cocaine for Boonen, ecstasy for Ulrich, and CERA for di Luca. I think I'll just stick with delicious caffeine, and if I can't compete at least I'll lose with dignity.

Unknown said...

Nicely said Ry! You make your darling mother proud.

Unknown said...

PG Tips is good stuff. Who can have one cup? I love reading your blog, Parnes, you crack me up.