Portland, Fare Thee Well

Whew! Portland is rad. The city is vibrant, the surroundings are beautiful, and the racing is fierce. I could totally live there. Well... I could live there except for the soul-crushing rain and gloom that seem to hang eternally over the city. Talk about a wet blanket. But not for me, no sir! The weather, although painfully cold (see Phil in Everest expedition wear), was mostly dry and we even saw the sun for a few minutes. That bit of sunshine really sealed the deal for me and I'm happy to pronounce Portland one of my new favorite cities.
Now, I don't know why, but every trip I take, be it for business, pleasure or some mixture of the two, ends up being a culinary tour. Portland was no different. That first Friday we headed into Chinatown and went hog wild at a dim sum restaurant. Keith overcame a very rational fear of Asian cuisine after a rough run in with some undercooked lamb during a business trip to Taiwan. Well, it could have also have been the lobster blood soup, but that's beside the point. We got the authentic dim sum experience in a little corner of Portland with steaming carts of unidentifiable dishes being swooshed our way. The waitstaff would ply us with all manner of dishes, but were unable to communicate in English exactly what was in them. Like I said, Keith was brave and we got our fill of strange and sometimes wonderful Chinese food.Dinner that night was slightly less exciting. We went to the HUB, a cycling themed brewery and grill, for number pickup (which wasn't there in the end) and I fought off the urge to temp fate with the "DNF Calzone" and instead went for an equally gut busting salad.

A true cyclocross race has a magical carnival atmosphere, and what carnival would be complete without food vendors? The heartland of CX is Belgium, and thus the quintessential 'cross treat is Belgian frites, aka freedom fries. I had mine with spicy fry sauce and garlic mayo, which could have been part of the reason I didn't get better acquainted with the female population of Portland.

Other culinary highlights included an amazing meal of fidelio with scallops in squid ink and pig served three ways (bratwurst, sausage and pig belly) pictured below. You can tell it's a classy restaurant because it's so dim, errr, romantically lit. After stuffing ourselves with a most exquisite dinner we thought it best to get back to basics and headed to to find the world famous Voodoo Doughnuts. There was a half hour wait just to get in the door, but it was worth every second. I ended up opting for something called the "Old Dirty Bastard" and in keeping with the dim sum theme I could not identify exactly what was on it, but I can assure you it was delicious and fattening. Keith opted for the "Cock and Balls" and Mooney was the true winner with his "Bacon Maple Bar." That one is exactly what it sounds like. The rest of that Saturday night was pretty uneventful except for the part where Phil crashed a black tie wedding in a fancy hotel, but that's another story.

And wait, I swear there was more to this trip than eating! We were also up there to schralp the rad in some gnar gnar 'cross races. So how did it go? Before I give away the punchline let me remind you of two things. First: I suck at 'cross. Second: I was equipped with a super secret set of prototype carbon 'cross tubulars courtesy of Williams Cycling. There was some question as to how these wheels might affect my performance. I'm happy to report that far from DNFing as I had in all previous west coast races I managed to roll into a very respectable 5ht place. Considering I started at the ass end of 75 riders I can only assume that these wheels are worth ~70 spots in a race. Now I should state (and here I'm bracing myself for the digital boos) that I was racing in the B's race and not the UCI Elite category, and I don't know what the conversion is between Bs and Elite. Those same wheels could only be worth 10 spots in an Elite race. Before you rain down your ridicule understand that they don't let you register day of for Elite races, so my choice was between racing B's or having driven 10hrs through a snow storm to eat frites and shiver. I chose to race. It was a total blast, I only crashed once and I got really muddy. Also, those wheels are insane. Not only are they light, strong and stylish (hello, horsehair weave!) they are one of the few cross wheels in the world set up for disc brakes. I'm already scouting out a frame that's disc brake compatible so I can take full advantage of those babies! Some of you might be wondering what a guy does to salvage a bike that filthy. If you're rich you pay these guys $3 to power wash it for you. If you're me, you take it back to the hotel and spend 20 minutes with a hose better suited for watering pansies, racing the clock to see if you can clean your bike before your hands go completely numb.

This was truly an epic trip, and although the drive back was one of the gnarliest of my life (4 hours of pounding rain through foggy mountains with standing water on the freeway until 3am) I'm going to fondly remember this little jaunt to Portland for the rest of my life. I think the best part of the whole shebang was getting to spend some real time with Keith Williams. Keith has got to be one of the kindest, most honest and good-natured people on the planet. He's been something of a cycling godfather to me since I began racing seriously, and it was a gift to be able to spend some solid time with him and get to know him on a deeper level. The man is pure gold. I count myself lucky to have him as a friend.

Lest I get too sappy, in the spirit of friendship I present to you a video of me heckling the hell out of Keith during the muddy motocross portion of Saturday's race: