Catch-up

Oh man! I know I promised I'd fill ya'll in on what's been going on down here in the Caribbean, but the truth of the matter is I can't write fast enough to keep up with all the crazy S&#@. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make a solemn promise to all ten of you people reading this blog that as soon as I get back to the states and wash all the sand out of my hair and maybe get an IV or two I'll write up a detailed report of this wacky adventure and slap ya'll upside the head with a whole pantload of photos. Until then I'll just rap at ya a wee bit so we're all generally on the same page.

Saturday night: We ride in a banana crit (two 180 degree turns) in almost total darkness during a tropical storm. I couldn't draft because the rear wheel in front of me threw up so much rain it felt like I was getting waterboarded. Jamie and Phil rode away from the field and I won the sprint for 3rd. Domination.

Sunday, 5:30 am we wake up and went to do the most ridiculous road race ever. Never a straight piece of road, never flat, never good pavement, never closed to traffic. Absolutely insane. Weather.com said 95, feels like 109. Phil won solo by 12 minutes over the field. I rolled third. Phil won the overall by a ton. Madness! (sidenote: best host family ever. Wayne, Karen and Gabrielle are simply fantastic.)

Monday. 3:50 am we get up to get back to Port of Spain to catch the ferry to Tobago. Sooooo tired. I got our bikes through security because the guy recognized me from the cover of the paper. Security girl got a photo with me. Best moment of my life. Mildly seasick as boats and diesel remind me of the (fishing) boat times. That was our first date.

Tuesday. we spend the majority of the day in a windowless room. Air conditioner has been raised to the status of minor deity. We do an easy ride to the beach and give the locals a bit of a show as we change into swim attire. Water is as warm as a bathtub and feels amazing.

Wednesday. Stage one of Tobago. 10 laps of a flatish 10k circuit. I busted out the first sprint and then missed the break like a sally prissypants. Jamie Sparling rocked the break like a champ. Phil gets deathly ill and makes it to within 8 seconds of the break before dying on the road. We get no bottles for half the race. Feels like I'm racing in a sauna. Jamie barely misses the win, takes third and puts 6 minutes into the field. Schwing!

Today (Thursday) 5:00 am. Up for the time trial on the same circuit. I feel pretty awesome (sarcasm). Seems as though my limbs are balloons, I am dizzy and every pore on my body is like a faucet. And its only 6:30 am. Phil is deep in the hurt box and does not even get out of bed. Jamie smashes the TT and takes the lead by 38 seconds. He wins because of my awesome skinsuit and booties. I want to punch him in the nuts because this means we will have to defend on this afternoon's terrifying circuit, but instead I give him the side pound and cheer.

Today (Thursday) 2:00 pm. We ride in defense of the jersey. If I'd known how painful this would be I probably would have slashed the tires on Jamie's TT bike. The team is full of warriors. Though the course features a few long pitches of 20% we smash our heads into the wall (figuratively) and hang tough. These guys are absolute animals. Again, as always, it is hotter than two rats "making love" in a wool sock. I think I used up about 5 of my 9 lives out there today. Whatever we did, it worked. Sparling still has a solid lead in the GC and we get to take that into a rest day tomorrow, which means snorkeling, glass bottom boats, jetskis, steel drums, and a whole lot of lying around. I may just get a floaty and a five gallon jug of water and see where the current takes me.

Tobago 2010 is pretty much a complete shitshow and when I fill in the details it will blow your minds.